If this is love - then why do i feel so......scared, confused, ashamed, bad, lonley, trapped? Does this sound like you?
What can you do if your relationship is going wrong?
Healthy relationships are brilliant. When someone really cares about you they:
- Respect your feelings, your opinions, your friends
Accept you saying `no` to things you don`t want to do (like sex)
Respect your wishes if you want to end the relationship
They help you feel:
Good about yourself and the things that you do
More confident about the choices you make
It might not always be perfect, but when you disagree you work things through together
RESPECT - RESPECT - RESPECT
YOU DESERVE RESPECT
It can be hard to accept that your relationship is abusive. You may still love or care for your partner and it may not be horrible all the time. Or you may feel very afraid to do anything which might upset them.
YOU NEED TO KNOW:
Its not your fault
Abuse is very common
You`re not responsible for your partners behaviour
Abuse usually gets worse
You can get help
IDEAS TO HELP YOU FEEL STRONGER:
DO things YOU enjoy
SPEND more time with other friends/family
WRITE down your feelings, things that happen
LISTEN to music with lyrics that make you feel stronger
PAY ATTENTION to your gut instincts
BE PROUD of how you`ve managed so far
BELIEVE it`s not your fault
Check out the links page - click onto childline and look at their relationship page for lots of help and support.
This NEW site aims to tackle the issues of abuse and violence in teenage relationships. http://thisisabuse.direct.gov.
Domestic abuse it not just an issue for adults, but also for teenagers. ChildLine receives around 3,000 contacts a year from young people about this issue.
"Teenage years are difficult at the best of times but a lack of experience in relationships and issues with self-confidence can mean young people feel they have nowhere to turn. Many victims, as well as perpetrators, come from abusive homes themselves and therefore don't realise how wrong these kind of relationships are.
"We strongly support these changes for young people who have suffered physical or emotional abuse and urge anyone in abusive relationships, male or female, to come forward and seek help. The NSPCC's young ambassadors are helping the Home Office to make sure these changes make a real difference for young people.
The new definition of domestic violence and abuse now states:
Any incident or pattern of incidents of controlling, coercive or threatening behaviour, violence or abuse between those aged 16 or over who are or have been intimate partners or family members regardless of gender or sexuality. This can encompass, but is not limited to, the following types of abuse: psychological; physical; sexual; financial; emotional.
"Controlling behaviour is: a range of acts designed to make a person subordinate and/or dependent by isolating them from sources of support, exploiting their resources and capacities for personal gain, depriving them of the means needed for independence, resistance and escape and regulating their everyday behaviour.
"Coercive behaviour is: an act or a pattern of acts of assault, threats, humiliation and intimidation or other abuse that is used to harm, punish, or frighten their victim."
Childline -0800 1111